I like copy that takes a subtle approach, with ads that tell a story and build a relationship.

At last year’s AWAI Bootcamp, I learned I’m not alone. In fact, I’m just like 85 percent of the buying market.

Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero of Red Hot Copy is an expert in reaching 85 percent of the buying market with copy. She spoke at last year’s Bootcamp, and today I’d like to share some of the remarkable things I learned from her.

First, you might be wondering what she means by “85 percent of the buying market.” Well, that 85 percent is women.

Did you know American women spend $5–$7 trillion dollars every year? Or how about this: women open 70 percent of new businesses, and 20 percent of new home sales are driven by single women.

These facts were startling to me, but impressive. I’m considering reframing my niche to focus on this huge sector.

If you’d like to do the same, I’m going to share five ways you can adjust your copy to make it appeal to women. Lorrie calls this “feminizing your copy.” She points out that by feminizing it, you’re also depolarizing it.

From 1925 through 1942, ads were written for men. Women didn’t have as much buying power, so the advertisers appealed to the men. Over time, copywriters modeled what worked in the past, so a lot of our copy is still directed toward men. As a result, much of it turns women off.

But with women now making up 85 percent of the buying market, it only makes sense to change things up a bit and appeal to women.

Here are five ways to depolarize your copy. These techniques work with women and men. The reverse is not true. Aggressive, over-the-top hype won’t work with women.

1. Replace emotionally aggressive language.

In masculine copy, you’ll find words like “massacre” and “crush the competition.” But men and women respond differently to marketing language. Women respond to more emotionally bonding language such as uplifting phrases like, “It’s not your fault.” Or “You can do it!”

Keep in mind, bonding doesn’t mean your copy should be boring. Use action words to grab attention, but not in an aggressive way. Instead, you should relate to your prospect.

For an example of this, check out Lorrie’s article “5 Critical Trends for Marketing to Women in 2011,” which is still relevant today.

2. Build rapport.

Masculine copy gets to the point fast. It has a single action and focus. It says, “Let’s cut to the chase.” But women like to hang out and chat. Just compare how long a woman will talk on the phone versus a man.

A woman wants to build a relationship and feel like she knows the person behind the product or service she’s buying. To build rapport, you want to address the problem, relate to the reader, and then solve the problem.

3. Make your copy or ad look good.

Men don’t mind if online copy mimics offline direct-response copy. Men think the content is important. But women want content, and they want it to look good.

Taking the time to make your copy look good tells a woman reader that you are going to be a better person to do business with in the long run.

To learn more about design, check out this article for three core secrets of direct-marketing graphic design.

4. Talk about your values.

Values aren’t necessarily a factor in making a buying choice for men. But for women, the values of whom she does business with are very important to her decision making. If your company supports a charity or offers discounts to certain groups, be sure to say so. Values resonate with women, so talk about them.

5. Tell a story.

Lorrie says, “In masculine copy, stories work but aren’t critical. With women, though, they’re required.” A woman needs a story to bond with you and build the rapport she needs to buy your product or service.

You have to connect with women before you can sell to them.

No matter what kind of writer you are, understanding that men and women make decisions differently will make you better. You’ll be able to better connect with your audience, and your writing will be richer.

What tips do you have for depolarizing – or “feminizing” – your copy? Comment below to join the discussion …